BDSM: How to start gently?

BDSM intrigues, fascinates and sometimes intimidates. However, far from extreme clichés, it is above all a practice based on trust, consent and mutual pleasure. If you are curious to explore this universe with your partner, this guide is designed to accompany you step by step. Discover how to start gently and safely in exploring BDSM.

1. Understand the basics of BDSM

BDSM is a group of different practices, each with its own nuances. Here's a quick introduction:

B : Bondage (to tie or be tied).

D : Discipline (rules and punishments).

S : Submission (playing a submissive role) and Sadism (taking pleasure in inflicting intense sensations).

M : Masochism (taking pleasure in receiving these sensations).

Good to know: BDSM is based on three fundamental pillars: Safety, Sanity, Consent (often abbreviated SSC).

2. Communicate above all

Before you begin, it is essential to have an honest discussion with your partner to establish a solid foundation.

Talk about your desires: Express what attracts you to BDSM. Is it control, discovery, or the intensity of sensations?

Set boundaries: Identify together what is acceptable and what is not (the “soft limits” and “hard limits”).

Set up a safeword: A keyword that allows you to immediately end a session if necessary.

Tip: A simple safeword like “red” or “stop” can be enough. Make sure everyone knows it and respects its use.

3. Explore gentle practices to begin with

There’s no need to jump straight into complex practices. Here are some ideas to get you started gently:

1. Light bondage:

Use simple restraints, such as handcuffs or soft bondage tape.

Product examples: Satin headbands or ties.

2. Sensory games:

Experiment with feathers, icicles or blindfolds to cover the eyes.

3. Dominance and submission:

Try simple role-playing games, where one person gives instructions and the other obeys.

4. Light Spanking:

Using your hands or a soft tool, explore the sensations. Always start gently and increase gradually.

Practical example: Pair a blindfold and a sex toy like the Pearl Dragon for an immersive sensory experience.

4. Choose suitable accessories (H2)

To start, opt for simple and comfortable accessories. Here are some suggestions:

Soft or velvet handcuffs: Perfect for starting bondage without discomfort.

Soft leather whip or paddle: Ideal for light sensations.

Sex toys: Like the Druidess of the Woods or The Fury of the Tiger to add a touch of fantasy.

Tip: Always test accessories on yourself to understand their effects before using them on your partner.

5. Respect consent and boundaries

BDSM relies on constant communication during and after sessions:

Regular check-ins: During the activity, make sure your partner is comfortable.

Post-session: Take the time to share your feelings, what you liked or what could be adjusted.

No pressure: If something doesn't suit you, say it without fear. Respect is essential.

Reminder: BDSM is a shared exploration, not a competition or obligation.

6. Explore resources to learn more

If BDSM intrigues you, learn more:

Books:

Midori's Art of Bondage .

SM 101 by Jay Wiseman.

Online communities: Dedicated forums or Facebook groups can provide helpful advice.

Specialty products: Discover accessories and sex toys designed for BDSM on Délices Défendus .

Exploring BDSM can be an exciting and rewarding adventure when approached with respect and communication. Start slowly, listen to your desires and those of your partner, and don’t be afraid to experiment. Over time, you’ll find what works for both of you and turn your intimate moments into unforgettable experiences.

Ready to explore BDSM? Discover our soft and suitable accessories to get started safely on Délices Défendus .